I got my personal development butt kicked by a total stranger the other day.
Let me explain…
I happened to meet a woman in line at a coffee shop the other day. We got talking and, wouldn’t you know it, she was super into personal development like me. As we got our coffee and decided to continue our conversation together, I realized I couldn’t have felt more at ease with the topics we were discussing. It was like I met my Soul Sister!
As the discussion shifted from our interests to our backgrounds, I innocently said, “I’m 6’5″, but I make total sense when you see me with my family. My mom is 6’2″ and my dad is 7′.”
While I thought this was an “innocent” statement, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Unfortunately, I totally fell victim to the sneaky devil that is disempowering language and this wonderful woman I met called me out on it! She interrupted my train of thought to tell me that I do, in fact, make total “sense” with or without tall parents. She kindly reminded me there isn’t one particular mold for women’s bodies and, here’s the kicker, she also informed me that I need to stand in my power as a tall, fierce, feminine woman.
Dang it, I’m supposed to be the “expert” at this stuff!
But that’s why I’m writing to you today about empowering and disempowering language. Our verbal patterns are often so ingrained in us that we don’t realize when we’re holding ourselves back. We use phrases like, “I can’t,” “I should,” and “I suck at.” We lead into statements with phrases like “Maybe I’m wrong, but…” effectively setting ourselves up to be unvalued and disempowered from the get-go.
While language patterns are easier to identify and change, it’s often much harder to catch yourself when these statements stay contained up in your head. If you find your inner critic saying things like, “You look huge in that dress” or “You look so awkward,” I want to share with you this super important message…
Your body hears everything your mind says.
I don’t share this with you to incite panic or induce a shame storm, but I want to lovingly remind you that you are allowed to reframe your thoughts, rephrase your statements, and reintroduce new language habits.
“You’re so awkward” becomes “You’re so elegant.”
“You’re fat” becomes “You have great curves.”
Say these things over and over and over to yourself. Use empowering language until it no longer feels forced, but rather becomes natural. Change your speech to enforce new thoughts and beliefs.
Cultivate kindness to empower yourself and set an example for tall women all over the world.
Empowering language is directly related to how confident you feel in your skin. My Tall Girl’s Guide to Confidence will teach you more about cultivating healthy self-talk and inspire you to reveal the fierce, strong, empowered woman inside of you!