When I was a teenager, I loved the idea of living out a romantic comedy. Never Been Kissed was and still is my favorite movie. I just always imagined myself bumping into someone, spilling coffee on them and then spending the rest of our lives together.
I would try and manipulate situations. I remember this one time I was attending a friend’s show. They were performing in a community theater production of Seussical The Musical. It was a cute show, but what really stood out to me was the young boy who played The Cat in the Hat. I fell in love while sitting in that audience. I dreamt up the life we would spend together. I then started following him on Myspace and going to all the local shows he was performing in, hoping that he would see me, and we would live happily ever after.
It was during the time that AOL aim was a thing, I had his screen name and followed it. My computer one day got a virus and sent everyone on my aim a fake message saying that I had a picture of us. Weeks passed before I went on aim again and when I did the Cat in the Hat messaged me! He told me that I sent him a picture and asked me how we knew each other? I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t tell this guy that I had been stalking him. I ended up making up a lie that we met at a cast party. He believed me and then added me on Facebook.
We are still friends on Facebook today. He has no idea that I stalked him into being my friend. Also, fun fact: he’s gay now! This basically sums up my dating experience. Me , stalking gay men.
I can’t say much has changed. As I sit in a coffee shop a few blocks away from my crush’s house, hoping I see him walk past. Yup, I’m still a creep.
I’m still looking for that Never Been Kissed moment. The moment where you meet someone and your life changes. This did happen a few years ago, this may not be my “now,” but I feel it was a big impact on my life. I met a guy on OkCupid, our first date was on Valentine’s Day, super cliche. He was the first guy that was aggressive. Usually men are very shy around me and he was so confident, something about that made me feel sexy. I quickly in my mind fell in love with the idea of this man. I should also tell you that he confessed to me he was heteroflexible and sometimes likes to sleep with men. Millennial.
After a month of dating, things started to move quickly. He confessed that he wasn’t looking for anything serious since he just got out of something. We decided to end things but still be friends. I was devastated, he was the first guy that made me feel like I was worth something. I knew he was doing stand up, so I had an idea.
I started doing stand up! People ask me now how I got into stand up, well, that’s it. I wanted to get this guy’s attention. And I did: for the next four years, he became a casual hookup. We never had a serious relationship. But he was the person to lead me to my purpose. If I never met this guy I don’t know if I would have been crazy enough to try comedy. I’m still friendly with this man. I was actually in LA a few months back and we met up for lunch. He is a TV writer now and is living with his girlfriend, and he is still sleeping with men.
So not much has changed. Just a girl still stalking gay men.